Making someone feel scared, intimidated, humiliated or controlling who they see and what they do is abuse. There’s no excuse to make someone feel these things and it’s never their fault. Regardless of your circumstances, background, mental health, alcohol or drug use, we can all choose how we respond.
If you’re abusing someone and you recognise this is wrong, Equation offers support to help you change it. The Your Choice Project is a programme available to anyone aged 18 and over living in Nottingham city or the wider county.
Our programme is delivered in line with Respect UK’s standards of practice to protect the safety and wellbeing of survivors, children and young people.
Why get help?
Getting help for abusive behaviour can have a positive impact, not only on you, but also your children and the people around you.
You might want help because
- You feel anger all of the time
- You want your family to stay together
- You want to stay with your partner
- You don’t want to hurt your children
- You don’t want to feel angry anymore
- You want to feel proud and happy about your choices
How to get help
Your Choice Project
How does the programme work?
The programme provides group and one-to-one intervention. It’s for anyone who wants help to stop using abusive behaviour towards a partner or ex-partner.
What you think and believe, impacts your feeling and how you behave. The aim of the programme is to create a safe opportunity for behavioural change, and create a shift in attitude and beliefs.
The first 12 weeks focuses on a Safer Relationships Programme, and the second 12 weeks focuses on Respectful Relationships Programme. This offers 24 sessions in total focused on behaviour choices, increasing self-awareness, different forms of abuse, attachment, accountability, boundaries, sexual respect, parenting and more.
After the 24 week programme, you’ll be offered a monthly maintenance group and a key worker to support you to embed changes for long-term change.
Support for survivors of domestic abuse
Survivors can also receive up to 12 months support if their partner or ex-partner is attending the Your Choice Project. This is to support their safety and wellbeing and to support them with the impact of what they’ve experienced.
Am I eligible?
- You must be aged 18 or over
- You must not be involved in ongoing criminal or family law proceedings relating to domestic abuse or child protection
- You must not have completed another programme in the last 6 months
- Your Choice Project must receive contact details for partners/ex-partners for safeguarding, risk monitoring and support to be offered.
- You must show motivation to change and acceptance of having used abusive behaviour
Will it work?
Taking part in any behaviour change programme is not a guarantee that things will be different, but it can create a shift in attitude. It’s an opportunity to choose to change and to be accountable for your choices in future, whilst having the support behind you.
- Email email@example.com or call 01156 950 734
- Monday to Friday, 9am – 5pm excluding bank holidays.
Where else you can get help
We know that sometimes it’s easier to speak to an organisation that isn’t local. It can feel safer to talk to someone you may never meet in person.
- Respect UK – Equation is a member of Respect UK who are one of the leading organisations developing safe practices for working with male survivors, children, young people, and perpetrators of domestic abuse. They also run a helpline to support men and women who are using abuse, in same-sex or heterosexual relationships. Their team of Advisors will listen to you without judgment and offer you honest advice to help you stop being abusive to your partner ex-partner or family.
They also offer advice to concerned friends, family members and professionals working with individuals who use violence and abuse.
Respect Phoneline: 0808 802 4040.
Domestic abuse is a big issue
- 81% of survivors we surveyed said they thought perpetrator programmes are a good idea. However, only 2.5% of survivors told us their abusive partner went on a perpetrator programme (Every Story Matters, SafeLives, 2018)
- 107,855 survivors with high-risk perpetrators (72,290 new cases and 35,565 repeat cases) were heard at MARAC across England and Wales in 2020-21 (SafeLives, 2021)
- Domestic abuse makes up a large portion of the Crown Prosecution Service’s workload, receiving up to 70 calls an hour for charging decisions and accounted for 52% of CPS caseload for the first quarter of 2020 (Crown Prosecution Service, 2020)
- Domestic abuse crimes recorded by the Police in 2020-21 across England and Wales reached 845,734, which was an increase of 6% from the previous year (ONS, 2021)
- Perpetrator programmes are important because repeat victimisation and serial perpetration is common and no other crime has a repeat victimisation rate as high (Dodd, et al. 2004).
“The program has helped me improve my outlook on life and quality of life not only for me but for my partner and children”
“It has helped me see a different perspective on the way I approach things and helped me be more approachable parent for my daughters”
“I learnt that many of my problems started in my childhood and I’m not so skilled to be able to sort them on my own. I understand the importance of being calm under the pressure and having a discussion about life difficulties with my partner and children.”
“ I have learnt I am not perfect and I have learnt where I have gone wrong and how I could have deal with things in the past differently”
Could pay for four children to take part in our early intervention projects
Could pay for one primary school child to receive our healthy relationship education program