For men, the social stigma around domestic abuse is strong, especially when it’s being experienced by a man and the perpetrator is a woman. But domestic abuse can be experienced by anyone.

If you’re made to feel scared, controlled or unable to make your own decisions by your partner, ex-partner or a family member, this could be abuse. Your relationship doesn’t have to be physically violent to be abusive.

Healthy relationships aren’t like this. Abusive behaviour is always unacceptable and it’s not your fault. Abusers are responsible for their own choices and actions.

“People still don’t get it. Because you’re a man they think you can stick up for yourself, that you’re not as vulnerable as a woman. But I know if my male partner had got hold of a knife on certain occasions when he lost it I just know he would’ve used it on me. The reason I fled in the end.”*

Our Independent Domestic Abuse Advocates (IDVAs) are here for men, or those identifying as men, who’ve experienced domestic abuse. Whether you’re experiencing abuse now or navigating the aftermath, things can feel confusing, stressful and overwhelming.

Our IDVAs understand what it’s like to live with emotional abuse, controlling behaviours, physical abuse, stalking, honour-based abuse, forced marriage, or any other form of domestic abuse.

We’re here to support you and listen, whether you’ve witnessed it or it’s happened to you.

Supporting you the way you choose

We can work with you to help you set your own goals and achieve them. We’ll also create a safety plan to minimise further abuse and harm, by looking at risks and what to do if things reach a crisis point. And throughout, we’ll advocate with you, or for you, and provide emotional and healing support as well as help with

• Housing and safe accommodation
• Safety planning and risk management
• Understanding your children’s experiences and exploring what support is available for them
• Navigating the civil and criminal justice system
• Accessing services like mental health, substance misuse, GPs
• Referring you for more therapeutic support when you’re ready.

Talking is the first step

We won’t pressure you or tell you what to do. We’ll simply listen, care and help you work out the next steps. We’ll be led by your needs and wishes and help you make informed decisions.

Get in touch

Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999.

We’re here 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday and our helpline is open 9.30am to 4.30pm excluding bank holidays. A 24/7 confidential answer phone service is available outside these times.

*quote from male survivor, Men and boys’ experiences of domestic abuse – Safe Lives

See all our support services for men

How you can help

No matter how much time, money or resources you can afford to give, your support will make a difference.