Help for men

If you’re made to feel scared, controlled or unable to make your own decisions by your partner, ex-partner or a family member, you’re being abused. Your relationship doesn’t have to be physically violent to be abusive.

Healthy relationships aren’t like this. Abusive behaviour is always unacceptable and it’s not your fault. It’s important to know that your abuser is responsible for their own choices and actions.

Domestic abuse is experienced by people of all ages, all backgrounds, genders, gender identities and sexualities. Whoever you are and whatever abuse you’re experiencing, it’s not your fault and you’re not alone.

 

Who we help

We support self-identifying men aged 16 years and over, living in Nottingham city and 18 years and over living in Nottinghamshire county.

We work with all sexualities, ethnicities and cultural backgrounds and our support is provided by a dedicated team of qualified Independent Domestic Violence Advocates (IDVAs). 

 

Abuse impacts our whole life

Domestic abuse can affect you, your children, family and friendships.  It can also have an impact on your mental health, wellbeing, physical health, financial circumstances, access to resources, education and employment. 

 

Talking about abuse can be hard

It’s normal to feel anxious about asking for help.  At Equation, we know there are barriers to reaching out but we’re here to listen and support you. 

We have a range of services to help reduce the risk of harm, ensure you are aware of your rights and options, ensure you feel heard and help you to feel safer, more confident and in control of your life. 

Is it abuse?

Not sure if you’re experiencing domestic abuse?

Read our guide

Warning signs

 Learn to recognise the signs of domestic abuse

Our domestic abuse services for men

Domestic Abuse Helpline Service

Our helpline is here for men, or those identifying as men who are experiencing domestic abuse. If you want to talk things through with someone, confidentially, our team are fully trained, compassionate and here to listen whenever you are ready.

Asking for help is difficult

We know asking for help can feel like a big step, but you can choose to share as much or as little as you like. You don’t have to give your real name and you can call us anonymously. 

You’re in control

Helpline support is led by you, because you are best person to make decisions about your life. We want you to feel that you have options and that you’re not alone.

If you’re worried about someone else

You can also call us if you’re worried about someone else – a friend, family member, or someone you work with. If you’re unsure what to do, want to run your thoughts past someone, get some advice, or speak to someone who will hear your worries and take them seriously, then talk to us.

Get in touch

  • Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
  • We’re here Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4.30pm excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)
Safer Accommodation and Outreach

Home is meant to be a place where you feel safe, comfortable and secure. Where you can be yourself without fear, stigma or abuse.

If you don’t feel safe where you live, physically or emotionally, because of a partner or family member, we’re here for you.

Our Safer Accommodation and Outreach team can help you create a safe space that you can call home. This looks different for everyone – you might want to make your current home feel safer, or you might need help finding somewhere else to live – either short or long term. Whichever option you need, we can help you.

We have a Men’s Specialist Practitioner who understands domestic abuse, housing needs and how the issues men face can be different to those faced by women.

We work alongside housing agencies and landlords in Nottingham city, to make sure that your that voice is heard and that your needs are taken seriously.

Get in touch

  • Email us at safer-accommodation@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
  • We’re here Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)
Domestic Abuse Advocacy and Support Service

Our Independent Domestic Abuse Advocates (IDVAs) are here for men, or those identifying as men, who’ve experienced domestic abuse and are looking for help and support. Whether you’re experiencing abuse now or navigating the aftermath, things can feel confusing, stressful and overwhelming. But you’re not alone – we’re here to listen. Our IDVAs understand what it’s like to live with controlling behaviours, physical abuse, stalking, honour-based abuse, forced marriage, or any other form of domestic abuse.

Supporting you the way you choose

We can work with you to help you set your own goals and achieve them. We’ll also create a safety plan to minimise further abuse and harm, by looking at risks and what to do if things reach crisis point. And throughout, we’ll advocate with you, or for you, and provide emotional and healing support as well as helping with

  • Understand your children’s experiences and explore what support is available for them
  • Housing and safe accommodation
  • Navigating the criminal justice system
  • Accessing services like mental health, substance misuse, GPs
  • Referring you for more therapeutic support when you’re ready.

Talking is the first step We won’t pressure you or tell you what to do. We’ll simply listen, care and help you work out the next steps. We’ll be led by your needs and wishes and help you make informed decisions. Get in touch

  • Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
  • We’re here Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)
Stalking Advisory Service (Non-Domestic Abuse)

Our Stalking Advisory Service is here for men, or those identifying as men, experiencing non-domestic abuse stalking. Usually this means people who don’t know their stalker. If you’re being stalked as part of ongoing domestic abuse, you can get help from our Domestic Abuse Advocacy and Support Service.

Stalking is a pattern of persistent and unwanted behaviour that can make you feel pestered, threatened or scared. It happens when the person stalking becomes fixated or obsessed with you and it’s a criminal offence. It can build up slowly over time and be subtle and hard to recognise or explain. When it happens, it can make you worried that it will never stop.

No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable or frightened

Stalking can happen to anyone, including men. We understand how men can experience stalking differently to women. We’ll listen and work with you to put safety plans into place, give you emotional support, help you gather evidence and explore ways to make you feel safer.

You are not to blame, and you are not alone – we can help and support you.

Get in to

Make a referral

 

I’m a frontline worker

Make a referral using this form.

 

I’m looking for help for myself

You can call us on 0800 9956 999 or email us at helpline@equation.org.uk.

You can also complete our referral form. Giving these details will save time when we speak to you.

You don’t have to use your real name when you speak to us, or on the referral form.

Help for an abusive partner

If an abuser recognises that their behaviour is wrong, Equation offers support to help them change it. The Your Choice Project is a programme available to anyone aged 18 and over living in Nottingham city or the wider county.

Before talking to your partner about getting help, consider if approaching them will put you or your children at risk. If you think your partner might become angry when you talk to them, talk to us at Equation first.

Where else you can get help

  • Nottinghamshire Women’s Aid – our local Women’s Aid partners also offer services for men up until the age of 17 years and 11 months, living in Nottinghamshire county.
    Nottinghamshire Women’s Aid: 01909 533 610

     

National support

We know that sometimes it’s easier to speak to an organisation that isn’t local. It can feel safer, or less scary to talk to someone you may never meet in person.

 

  • Respect UK – Equation is a member of Respect UK who are one of the leading organisations developing safe practices for working with male survivors, children, young people, and perpetrators of domestic abuse. They also run a helpline to support male survivors of domestic abuse. 
    Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
  • ManKind – offer signposting and helpline services for male survivors of domestic abuse.  
    Helpline: 01823 334 244

Domestic abuse is a big issue

  • Each year nearly 2 million people in the UK suffer from domestic abuse, and approximately 600,000 are male survivors (ONS 2016).
  • One in three survivors are male (ONS, 2020) and 6,557 male survivors were heard at MARAC due to high levels of risk posed to them by the perpetrator (SafeLives, 2021)
  • 45.7% of male survivors of partner abuse suffered from force (ONS, 2018) but one in five men didn’t know where to seek help if they or someone they knew were in an abusive relationship (SafeLives, 2019)
  • 41% of male survivors reported abuse from a partner impacting on their emotional and mental health needs, and 11% of male survivors of partner abuse have attempted to end their life due to their experiences (ONS, 2018)
  • 85% of survivors sought help 5 times on average from professionals in the year before they got effective help to stop the abuse (SafeLives, 2015).

“I was able to take back control of my life having received support from Equation. I feel more independent and for once in a very long time I feel more in control. Talking to you gave me a safe space.” 

Male Service User

Equation's Domestic Abuse Service for Men

"Made me aware that what was happening was reality and wasn't me imagining it and that it happens to others and that it does have an impact." 

Male Service User

Equation's Domestic Abuse Service for Men

"Helped to realise that it's more common to effect men than I first thought and that I wasn't alone, that there isn't something wrong with me and that it wasn't my fault." 

Male Service User

Equation's Domestic Abuse Service for Men

I believe that all people deserve fair, equal relationships and that nobody should live with domestic violence. Equation do amazing work in our local area to move towards this as well as vital work supporting all survivors of domestic violence.

Rob

Equation Supporter

£10

MONTHLY DONATION

Could pay for four children to take part in our early intervention projects

£30

SINGLE DONATION

Could pay for one primary school child to receive our healthy relationship education program

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