Help for LGBTQ+
If you’re made to feel scared, controlled or unable to make your own decisions by your partner, ex-partner or a family member, this could be abuse. Your relationship doesn’t have to be physically violent to be abusive.
Abuse can include:
- Threats
- Always putting you down
- Manipulating or humiliating you
- Lying to you
- Controlling what you wear or who you see and speak to
- Checking your texts without your permission
Abuse towards LGBTQ+ people can also include things like:
- Intentionally addressing you by the wrong pronouns
- Asking or demanding you suppress, hide or change your LGBTQ+ identity
- Telling you that your sexual orientation or gender identity brings ‘shame’ on your family or community
- Pressuring you into doing things to prove your LGBTQ+ identity such as dressing a certain way, or completing certain sexual acts to ‘prove you’re gay’.
- Threatening to disclose your romantic or sexual orientation, gender identity, gender history, or HIV status without your consent
- Using a ‘dead’ name.
Is it abuse?
Not sure if you’re experiencing domestic abuse? Read our guide
Warning signs
Learn to recognise the signs of domestic abuse
Get help
For yourself or someone else
LGBTQ+ people can be especially at risk when their family members don’t accept their LGBTQ+ identity
Abusive behaviour is always unacceptable and it’s never your fault. The person using abusive behaviour towards you is responsible for their own choices and actions.
If you’re being harassed by someone who is not a partner, ex or family member, this might be stalking or sexual abuse.
Talking about abuse can be hard
Asking for help can feel like a big step, but you can choose to share as much or as little as you like.
Helpline support is led by you, because you are the best person to make decisions about your life. We want you to feel that you have options and that you’re not alone.
It’s normal to worry that if you ask for help, your identity, relationships, or what has happened to you, might be questioned or not quite understood. Local services understand the range of issues across all sexual orientations, gender identities, and different types of relationships in our community.
Help for LGBTQ+ survivors in Nottinghamshire
Below are local support services that are LGBTQ+ inclusive. It’s crucial for everyone to be able to access the support they feel most comfortable with, therefore, LGBTQ+ survivors, including non-binary and trans individuals, are encouraged to reach out to whichever service they believe best suits their needs.
LGBTQ+ specialist domestic abuse service
If you would like support from an LGBTQ+ specialist domestic abuse worker, Equation is the only local service able to provide this. We support LGBTQ+ people of any gender or sexual identity aged 16 and over in Nottinghamshire.
Call 0800 9956 999, email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or refer online. Open Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4.30 pm (7.30pm on Wednesdays) excluding bank holidays. 24/7 confidential answerphone service available at other times.
Support for women and children under 18
- Juno Women’s Aid – Our local partner supports LGBTQ+ women living in Nottingham city and Nottinghamshire county. They have a wide range of services including a 24-hour freephone Domestic and Sexual Violence Helpline, where you can speak to trained support workers, 365 days a year. Call the Helpline on 0808 800 0340.
Hearing impaired? Text “Relay/NGT” to 18001 0808 800 0340. - Notts Women’s Aid supports LGBT women living in Bassetlaw, Mansfield and Newark and Sherwood. Call 01909 491330 or email enquiries@nottswa.org. Open Monday – Friday 9-4.30.
Support for men
- Equation supports male survivors in Nottingham city aged over 16, and in Nottinghamshire county over 18.
Call 0800 9956 999, email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or refer online. Open Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4.30 pm (7.30pm on Wednesdays) excluding bank holidays. 24/7 confidential answerphone service available at other times.
National LGBTQ+ helpline
We know that sometimes it’s easier to speak to an organisation that isn’t local and talk to someone you may never meet in person.
- Galop – supports LGBTQ+ people who have experienced abuse and violence, including a helpline and survivors forum.
Helpline: 0800 999 5428.
Worried about someone else?
You can also get advice and support if you’re worried about someone else – a friend, family member, or someone you work with. If you’re unsure what to do, want some advice, or want to speak to somebody who will hear your worries and take them seriously, these services are there for you too.
How we can help
Domestic Abuse Helpline Service
Our helpline is here for LGBTQ+ people experiencing domestic abuse. If you want to talk things through with someone, confidentially, our team are fully trained, compassionate and here to listen whenever you are ready.
Asking for help is difficult
We know asking for help can feel like a big step, but you can choose to share as much or as little as you like.
You’re in control
Helpline support is led by you, because you are best person to make decisions about your life. We want you to feel that you have options and that you’re not alone.
If you’re worried about someone else
You can also call us if you’re worried about someone else – a friend, family member, or someone you work with. If you’re unsure what to do, want to run your thoughts past someone, get some advice, or speak to someone who will hear your worries and take them seriously, then talk to us.
Get in touch
- Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
- We’re here Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4.30pm excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)
Domestic Abuse Advocacy and Support Service
Help for LGBTQ+ Our Independent Domestic Abuse Advocates (IDVAs) are here for LGBTQ+ people who’ve experienced domestic abuse and are looking for help and support. Whether you’re experiencing abuse now or navigating the aftermath, things can feel confusing, stressful and overwhelming. But you’re not alone – we’re here to listen. Our IDVAs understand what it’s like to live with controlling behaviours, physical abuse, stalking, honour-based abuse, forced marriage, or any other form of domestic abuse. Supporting you the way you choose We can work with you to help you set your own goals and achieve them. We’ll also create a safety plan to minimise further abuse and harm, by looking at risks and what to do if things reach crisis point. And throughout, we’ll advocate with you, or for you, and provide emotional and healing support as well as helping with
- Housing and safe accommodation
- Safety planning and risk management
- Understanding your children’s experiences and explore what support is available for them
- Navigating the civil and criminal justice system
- Accessing services like mental health, substance misuse, GPs
- Referring you for more therapeutic support when you’re ready.
Talking is the first step
We won’t pressure you or tell you what to do. We’ll simply listen, care and help you work out the next steps. We’ll be led by your needs and wishes and help you make informed decisions.
Get in touch
- Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
- We’re here Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)
Safer Accommodation and Outreach
Home is meant to be a place where you feel safe, comfortable and secure. Where you can be yourself without fear, stigma or abuse.
If you don’t feel safe where you live, physically or emotionally, because of a partner or family member, we’re here for you.
Our Safer Accommodation and Outreach team can help you create a safe space that you can call home. This looks different for everyone – you might want to make your current home feel safer, or you might need help finding somewhere else to live – either short or long term. Whichever option you need, we can help you.
We have an LGBTQ+ specialist practitioner who understands domestic abuse and housing needs in your community. We work alongside housing agencies in Nottingham city, to make sure that your that voice is heard and that your needs are taken seriously.
Get in touch
- Email us at referrals@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
- We’re here Monday to Friday, 9am – 5pm, excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)
Stalking Advisory Service (Non-Domestic Abuse)
Our Stalking Advisory Service is here for LGBTQ+ people experiencing non-domestic abuse stalking – usually this means people who don’t know their stalker. If you’re being stalked as part of ongoing domestic abuse, you can get help from our Domestic Abuse Advocacy and Support Service.
Stalking is a pattern of persistent and unwanted behaviour that can make you feel pestered, threatened or scared. It happens when the person stalking becomes fixated or obsessed with you and it’s a criminal offence. It can build up slowly over time and be subtle and hard to recognise or explain. When it happens, it can make you worried that it will never stop.
No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable or frightened
Sometimes, your sexuality or gender identity can be used by a stalker to intimidate or threaten you. At Equation, we understand this. We’ll listen and work with you to put safety plans into place, give you emotional support, help you gather evidence and explore ways to make you feel safer.
You are not to blame, and you are not alone – we can help and support you.
Get in touch
- Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
- We’re here Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm excluding bank holidays (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)
- You can also email Nottinghamshire Police at stalking.advocacy@notts.police.uk
Make a referral
I’m a frontline worker
Make a referral using this form.
Got any questions? Call us on 0115 960 5556.
I’m looking for help for myself
You can call us on 0800 9956 999 or email us at helpline@equation.org.uk.
You can also complete our referral form. Giving these details will save time when we speak to you.
You don’t have to use your real name when you speak to us, or on the referral form.
“I’ve been building up to calling the Helpline. Today, I finally bit the bullet and called – you made it so easy and comfortable for me. Thank you so much for that.”
“You have been amazing. You were quick to get on top of issues. If I wasn’t feeling great, I knew I could call you for a chat. I would recommend anyone in need to use the service.”
Domestic abuse is a big issue
- 59% of our community report their partner repeatedly belittled them to the extent that they felt worthless, and 36% shared that their partner stopped them from seeing friends and relatives (Stonewall, 2018)
- One in two trans people have endured domestic abuse (Interventions Alliance, 2021) and one in five non-binary people have faced domestic abuse from a partner in the last year (Stonewall, 2018)
- One in four gay men have suffered domestic abuse, one in three bisexual people and one in four lesbian people experienced domestic abuse (Interventions Alliance, 2021)
- 19% of our community disclosed their partner forced them to do sexual acts against their will (Stonewall, 2018) although we anticipate this may be higher due to coerced consent and underreporting.
How you can help
No matter how much time, money or resources you can afford to give, your support will make a difference.
£10
Give monthly
Could pay for four children
to take part in our early intervention projects
£30
Give once
Could pay for one primary school child to receive our healthy relationship education program
Support equation
Check out the other ways you can support us