LGBTQ+ people can go through the same kinds of abuse as anyone else — but they might also face control, harm, or discrimination that’s closely linked to who they are and how they live their lives.

We’re an LGBTQ+ specialist domestic abuse support service. We know that abuse can happen to anyone, no matter your gender, sexuality, or the kind of relationship you’re in.

We support all LGBTQ+ identities and are committed to making sure you feel seen, heard, and supported in a way that works for you. You’re not alone—we’re here for you.

Abuse in LGBTQ+ relationships

There also forms of abuse that are more specific to LGBTQ+ people

Threats to ‘out’ you 🏳️‍🌈

An abusive partner might threaten to reveal your sexual orientation or gender identity to people you’re not out to—such as family, colleagues, or your community.

Misgendering and deadnaming 🚫

Using the wrong pronouns or your previous name on purpose to hurt or undermine your identity.

Identity-based abuse 💬

Saying things like:

• “You’re not really gay/bi/trans.”
• “No one else would love someone like you.”
• “You’re making things up for attention.”

This kind of abuse can cause serious emotional harm.

Isolation from support 🧍‍♂️

Your partner might try to cut you off from LGBTQ+ friends, events, or community spaces, making it harder to seek help.

Using your HIV status 🏥

Some people are threatened with having their HIV status disclosed without their consent, manipulated into sexual activity that disregards their boundaries or well-being, or deliberately prevented from accessing medical treatment. Being denied access to treatment can affect a person’s physical health and have a serious impact on their mental well-being.

Pressured into unwanted behaviour ⚠️

Some LGBTQ+ people are made to feel they have to accept certain sexual acts or behaviours because “that’s just how LGBTQ+ relationships work.” This is not true. Consent matters in every relationship—you should never feel pressured into anything you’re not comfortable with.

This can be especially difficult if someone is newly out or in their first LGBTQ+ relationship. A lack of experience or anything to compare it to can make it easier for a partner who is being abusive to take control, making the survivor more likely to go along with things they don’t truly want.

Chemsex and abuse 💊

In some LGBTQ+ relationships, Chemsex—using drugs to enhance sexual experiences—can become part of the abusive dynamic. Partners who encourage or pressure their significant other into participating in Chemsex may be contributing to potential exploitation and harm. This can make it difficult to recognise abuse, as the relationship may become centred around substance use and risky behaviour.
Equation can help signpost you to specialised services that provide support for those engaging in or affected by Chemsex, helping reduce the risk of harm or assisting those who wish to stop entirely.

You deserve support

Abuse is never your fault. No matter your gender, sexuality, or how you identify—if someone is controlling, hurting, or scaring you, that is abuse.

At Equation, we support LGBTQ+ people aged 16 and over living Nottingham city, and over 18 in Nottinghamshire county who are affected by domestic abuse. Our service is confidential, inclusive, and understanding.

National support services 

• Galop – National LGBTQ+ domestic abuse helpline
• LGBTQ Switchboard – LGBTQ+ support line for anyone who wants to talk
• Stonewall – LGBTQ+ rights and support information: www.stonewall.org.uk 
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247 (run by Refuge)

You’re not alone 

It can be difficult to talk about abuse—especially if you’re worried about not being believed, or if the abuse doesn’t fit the “typical” picture people have of domestic violence. But your experience is valid. 

If you’re unsure whether what you’re experiencing is abuse, or you just want someone to talk to—reach out. We’re here to listen and help, without judgment. 

Information for professionals

How you can help

No matter how much time, money or resources you can afford to give, your support will make a difference.