Stalking blog series: Fixated behaviour

Stalking is more than just unwanted attention – it’s a pattern of unwanted attention and harassment that makes someone feel scared and threatened and it affects many people.

Stalking is behaviour that is fixated, obsessive, unwanted, and repeated.

In our new blog series, we’ll take a look at each of these elements. In this blog, we will explore what fixated behaviour looks like, and actions to take if this is happening to you or to someone you know.

Stalking can involve someone

Following you
Turning up unexpectedly or waiting for you
Contacting you without your permission, either in person, online, or through other people
Monitoring your location or your emails and messages
Sending unwanted gifts
Threatening you
Damaging your property

Who stalks?

When we think about stalking, we often think about an unseen stranger or a delusional fan following a celebrity. Whilst this can be true, in many cases, the victim knows who the stalker is.

Out of approximately 1.5 million stalking victims in the year ending March 2024, an estimated 28% were victims of domestic stalking, with 21% being stalked by a partner or ex-partner and 9% being stalked by a family member*

Stalkers can be total strangers, acquaintances – work colleagues for example or current or ex-partners. Whoever they are, they often show obsessive, harassing behaviour that can cause a sense of constant fear and hopelessness. And this can severely impact on the mental health of the victim, leading to anxiety and even depression.

“I don’t see an end. I don’t think there is anything that will stop her from doing this”

”Since the stalking started I have been too scared to leave my home for fear of being attacked, and now I don’t feel safe in my own home as the stalker and her new partner are now [coming to] my home’’

What motivates stalkers?

Stalkers are driven by a wide number of psychological and emotional factors. Sentimental ruminative thinking, a sense of injustice or a desire to establish or re-establish contact, can spill over into fixated stalking behaviour.

Fixated behaviour in stalking focusses on getting the victim’s attention. The stalker might want to start a relationship with them. They might even believe the victim wants the attention. They may want to punish or scare an ex-partner, or be unable to accept that a relationship is over.

A stalker could want revenge, retribution, punishment, or sexual gain. Whatever they want to achieve, it can show up in the following ways:

Obsessive thoughts: Constantly thinking about the person and finding ways to reach out to them.
Unrealistic expectations: Believing the victim feels the same way or that they owe the stalker something.
Delusion: Having false beliefs about a relationship or connection that doesn’t actually exist.
Persistent pursuit: Continuing to contact or follow the victim, even after they’ve made it clear they’re not interested or have rejected the stalker.

This behaviour can escalate over time, becoming increasingly invasive and dangerous. It’s important for victims and those around them to recognise signs early on and take action to keep themselves safe.

How Independent Stalking Advocacy Caseworkers (ISACS) can help

At Equation, our Independent Stalking Advocate Caseworker is here to offer support and guidance if you’re dealing with stalking. Here’s how they can help:

Safety Planning: ISACs help create a personalised safety plan, including secure housing, safe ways to communicate, and emergency contacts.

Emotional Support: Stalking can be overwhelming, and ISACs provide a safe space to talk about your fears and frustrations.

Legal Guidance: Navigating the legal system can be daunting. ISACs can help you understand your legal rights, obtaining restraining orders, and reporting stalking to the police.

Signposting to other help – ISACs can link you with helpful services and resources such as counselling, support groups, and housing assistance.

Advocacy: ISACs can advocate for you with courts, police, and other agencies, ensuring your voice is heard.

Education & Awareness: ISACs also educate professionals about stalking, helping improve how others respond and support victims. They feed into police training and attend multi-agency meetings to support with risk assessing and forming clear action plans. They also provide training to any professional who might work with someone experiencing stalking, so that they can respond in the best way.

What you can do

Stalking and fixated behaviour are serious issues that need prompt attention and action.

If you’re experiencing stalking

Don’t engage with the stalker – this is also important for friends and family
Keep a log of incidents and how these make you feel and collect evidence of calls, texts, photos and screenshots of cyberstalking
Contact the police if you feel able to
Reach out for help – If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking, contact the Nottinghamshire Stalking Advocacy Service. We’re here to listen and help you.

If you’re a professional

Recognising the signs and understanding the impact on those it affects, is the first step towards addressing the problem. ISACS can provide invaluable support to anyone experiencing stalking, helping them navigate the situation and regain a sense of safety and control in their lives.

*Source: 2024 Crime Survey for England and Wales

Get in touch

Call our helpline – 0800 995 6999 – Mon – Fri 9.30am – 4.30pm (7.30pm on Wednesdays) – 24/7 confidential answerphone available outside these times
Email us – helpline@equation.org.uk – Mon – Fri 9.30am – 4.30pm
Access support online using our online referral form including self-referrals.

Find out more about our domestic abuse support for men.