If you’re being hurt, intimidated or controlled by someone you love,
you’re not alone. 

Having worked with male survivors in Nottingham/shire for over 7 years we’ve learned that many men often don’t realise that what they’re experiencing is domestic abuse, and many more feel unable to speak out. #SupportNotSilence raises awareness of domestic abuse towards men in all its forms and hopes to encourage more men to seek support. There is help, and there is hope to lead a life free from abuse.

Is it abuse?  

“Domestic abuse” is behaviour that someone uses in a relationship to deliberately dominate, threaten, coerce and control someone else. Domestic abuse can include physical violence, as well as emotional and psychological bullying, sexual violence or financial control and abuse.  

A man who is being abused may experience some or all of the following behaviours:  

• Mocking: humiliation, insults, criticism  
• Control: Being checked up on, followed, or stalked  
• Threats: intimidation, attacks or violence  
• Destruction of their possessions  
• Isolation: being stopped from seeing family and friends  
• Being forced into sex   
• Having money taken or controlled  
• Lying, blame and denial of the abuse 
• Walking on eggshells due to fear  
• ‘Honour’ based abuse such as forced marriage 

Domestic Abuse and Gender 

Any person can be a victim of this kind of behaviour whether they are a man, woman or another gender identity. Domestic abuse against men is perpetrated by both men and women, as well as people of other gender identities.  Men can experience domestic abuse from a partner or a former partner in heterosexual or same-sex relationships. Men can also be abused by family members: adult children, siblings or others. Family abuse against men includes so-called ‘honour’-based abuse, such as forced marriage. 

Men who experience domestic violence and abuse are not to blame, no matter what the perpetrator of the abuse may say. Men who are being abused may feel ashamed or afraid of judgment by others, but it does not make a man ‘weak’ or less ‘manly’ if they experience abuse. 

Men who experience domestic abuse are not alone and it is always okay to ask for help.  

Do you need help or advice? 

Don’t suffer in silence. Don’t suffer alone. Support is available.  

Equation’s service in Nottingham/shire offers free support for men experiencing domestic abuse. The service can advise men about their safety and legal options and signpost to other services including drugs and alcohol support, housing and counselling.  

Who we can support:  

• We can support Men aged 16 or over living in Nottingham City  
• Men aged 18 or over living in Nottinghamshire County  
• This is an LGBTQIA inclusive service offering dedicated LGBTQIA support workers. 
  

Call 0115 960 5556 to talk in confidence.   
The helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9.30-4.30.
A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times.    

“I was able to take back control of my life having received support from Equation.  I feel more independent and for once in a very long time I feel more in control. Talking to you gave me a safe space”   

Men outside Nottingham/shire can call:  

Men’s Advice Line 0808 801 0327   

Galop’s National LGBT+ helpline 0800 999 5428. 

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