Help for LGBTQ+

If you’re made to feel scared, controlled or unable to make your own decisions by your partner, ex-partner or a family member, this could be abuse. Your relationship doesn’t have to be physically violent to be abusive.

Abuse can include:

Threats
Always putting you down
Manipulating or humiliating you
Lying to you
Controlling what you wear or who you see and speak to
Checking your texts without your permission

Abuse towards LGBTQ+ people can also include things like:

Intentionally addressing you by the wrong pronouns
Asking or demanding you suppress, hide or change your LGBTQ+ identity
Telling you that your sexual orientation or gender identity brings ‘shame’ on your family or community
Pressuring you into doing things to prove your LGBTQ+ identity such as dressing a certain way, or completing certain sexual acts to ‘prove you’re gay’.
Threatening to disclose your romantic or sexual orientation, gender identity, gender history, or HIV status without your consent
Using a ‘dead’ name.

Is it abuse?

Not sure if you’re experiencing domestic abuse? Read our guide

Warning signs

Learn to recognise the signs of domestic abuse

Get help

For yourself or someone else

Worried about your own behaviour?

LGBTQ+ people can be especially at risk when their family members don’t accept their LGBTQ+ identity

Abusive behaviour is always unacceptable and it’s never your fault. The person using abusive behaviour towards you is responsible for their own choices and actions.

If you’re being harassed by someone who is not a partner, ex or family member, this might be stalking or sexual abuse.

Talking about abuse can be hard

Asking for help can feel like a big step, but you can choose to share as much or as little as you like.

Helpline support is led by you, because you are the best person to make decisions about your life. We want you to feel that you have options and that you’re not alone.

It’s normal to worry that if you ask for help, your identity, relationships, or what has happened to you, might be questioned or not quite understood. Local services understand the range of issues across all sexual orientations, gender identities, and different types of relationships in our community.

Help for LGBTQ+ survivors in Nottinghamshire

Below are local support services that are LGBTQ+ inclusive. It’s crucial for everyone to be able to access the support they feel most comfortable with, therefore, LGBTQ+ survivors, including non-binary and trans individuals, are encouraged to reach out to whichever service they believe best suits their needs.

LGBTQ+ specialist domestic abuse service

If you would like support from an LGBTQ+ specialist domestic abuse worker, Equation is the only local service able to provide this. We support LGBTQ+ people of any gender or sexual identity aged 16 and over in Nottinghamshire.

Call 0800 9956 999, email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or refer online. Open Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4.30 pm (7.30pm on Wednesdays) excluding bank holidays. 24/7 confidential answerphone service available at other times.

Support for women and children under 18

Juno Women’s Aid – Our local partner supports LGBTQ+ women living in Nottingham city and Nottinghamshire county. They have a wide range of services including a 24-hour freephone Domestic and Sexual Violence Helpline, where you can speak to trained support workers, 365 days a year. Call the Helpline on 0808 800 0340.
Hearing impaired? Text “Relay/NGT” to 18001 0808 800 0340.
Notts Women’s Aid supports LGBT women living in Bassetlaw, Mansfield and Newark and Sherwood. Call 01909 491330 or email enquiries@nottswa.org. Open Monday – Friday 9-4.30.

Support for men

Equation supports male survivors in Nottingham city aged over 16, and in Nottinghamshire county over 18.
Call 0800 9956 999, email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or refer online. Open Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4.30 pm (7.30pm on Wednesdays) excluding bank holidays. 24/7 confidential answerphone service available at other times.

National LGBTQ+ helpline

We know that sometimes it’s easier to speak to an organisation that isn’t local and talk to someone you may never meet in person.

Galop – supports LGBTQ+ people who have experienced abuse and violence, including a helpline and survivors forum.
Helpline: 0800 999 5428.

Worried about someone else?

You can also get advice and support if you’re worried about someone else – a friend, family member, or someone you work with. If you’re unsure what to do, want some advice, or want to speak to somebody who will hear your worries and take them seriously, these services are there for you too.

How we can help

Domestic Abuse Helpline Service

Our helpline is here for LGBTQ+ people experiencing domestic abuse. If you want to talk things through with someone, confidentially, our team are fully trained, compassionate and here to listen whenever you are ready.

Asking for help is difficult

We know asking for help can feel like a big step, but you can choose to share as much or as little as you like.

You’re in control

Helpline support is led by you, because you are best person to make decisions about your life. We want you to feel that you have options and that you’re not alone.

If you’re worried about someone else

You can also call us if you’re worried about someone else – a friend, family member, or someone you work with. If you’re unsure what to do, want to run your thoughts past someone, get some advice, or speak to someone who will hear your worries and take them seriously, then talk to us.

Get in touch

Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
We’re here Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4.30pm excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)

Domestic Abuse Advocacy and Support Service

Help for LGBTQ+ Our Independent Domestic Abuse Advocates (IDVAs) are here for LGBTQ+ people who’ve experienced domestic abuse and are looking for help and support. Whether you’re experiencing abuse now or navigating the aftermath, things can feel confusing, stressful and overwhelming. But you’re not alone – we’re here to listen. Our IDVAs understand what it’s like to live with controlling behaviours, physical abuse, stalking, honour-based abuse, forced marriage, or any other form of domestic abuse. Supporting you the way you choose We can work with you to help you set your own goals and achieve them. We’ll also create a safety plan to minimise further abuse and harm, by looking at risks and what to do if things reach crisis point. And throughout, we’ll advocate with you, or for you, and provide emotional and healing support as well as helping with

Housing and safe accommodation
Safety planning and risk management
Understanding your children’s experiences and explore what support is available for them
Navigating the civil and criminal justice system
Accessing services like mental health, substance misuse, GPs
Referring you for more therapeutic support when you’re ready.

Talking is the first step

We won’t pressure you or tell you what to do. We’ll simply listen, care and help you work out the next steps. We’ll be led by your needs and wishes and help you make informed decisions.

Get in touch

Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
We’re here Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)

Safer Accommodation and Outreach

Home is meant to be a place where you feel safe, comfortable and secure. Where you can be yourself without fear, stigma or abuse.

If you don’t feel safe where you live, physically or emotionally, because of a partner or family member, we’re here for you.

Our Safer Accommodation and Outreach team can help you create a safe space that you can call home. This looks different for everyone – you might want to make your current home feel safer, or you might need help finding somewhere else to live – either short or long term. Whichever option you need, we can help you.

We have an LGBTQ+ specialist practitioner who understands domestic abuse and housing needs in your community. We work alongside housing agencies in Nottingham city, to make sure that your that voice is heard and that your needs are taken seriously.

Get in touch

Email us at referrals@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
We’re here Monday to Friday, 9am – 5pm, excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)

Stalking Advisory Service (Non-Domestic Abuse)

The Nottinghamshire Stalking Advocacy Service has specialist-trained advocates who provide high-quality support to victims of non-domestic abuse stalking. To use this service you must be 16 or above and live in Nottingham city or Nottinghamshire. Find out how we can help.

The Gateway programme - helping you move forward

After abuse has ended or once your safety improves, it can still be challenging to move forward. Feelings of disempowerment and confusion are often left behind impacting your long-term wellbeing. The Gateway Programme is a specialised eight-week peer support group designed for male and LGBTQ+ survivors of domestic abuse. Led by experienced domestic abuse advocates, it’s tailored to support lasting recovery.

Find out more about the programme.

Make a referral

I’m a frontline worker

Make a referral using this form.

Got any questions? Call us on 0115 960 5556. We’re here Monday to Friday, 9.30am – 4.30pm (7.30pm on Wednesdays) – 24/7 confidential answerphone available outside these times.

I’m looking for help for myself

You can call our helpline on 0800 9956 999 or email us at helpline@equation.org.uk.

You can also complete our referral form. Giving these details will save time when we speak to you.

You don’t have to use your real name when you speak to us, or on the referral form.

“I’ve been building up to calling the Helpline. Today, I finally bit the bullet and called – you made it so easy and comfortable for me. Thank you so much for that.”

Helpline user

Equation's Domestic Abuse Service for Men

“You have been amazing. You were quick to get on top of issues. If I wasn’t feeling great, I knew I could call you for a chat. I would recommend anyone in need to use the service.”

Support and Advocacy Service user

Equation's Domestic Abuse Service for Men

Domestic abuse is a big issue

59% of our community report their partner repeatedly belittled them to the extent that they felt worthless, and 36% shared that their partner stopped them from seeing friends and relatives (Stonewall, 2018)
One in two trans people have endured domestic abuse (Interventions Alliance, 2021) and one in five non-binary people have faced domestic abuse from a partner in the last year (Stonewall, 2018)
One in four gay men have suffered domestic abuse, one in three bisexual people and one in four lesbian people experienced domestic abuse (Interventions Alliance, 2021)
19% of our community disclosed their partner forced them to do sexual acts against their will (Stonewall, 2018) although we anticipate this may be higher due to coerced consent and underreporting.