Help for men
If you’re made to feel scared, controlled or unable to make your own decisions by your partner, ex-partner or a family member, this could be abuse. Your relationship doesn’t have to be physically violent to be abusive.
Healthy relationships aren’t like this. Abusive behavior is always unacceptable and it’s not your fault. It’s important to know that the person using abusive behaviour is responsible for their own choices and actions.
Domestic abuse is experienced by people of all ages, all backgrounds, genders, gender identities and sexualities. Whoever you are and whatever abuse you’re experiencing, it’s not your fault and you’re not alone.
Who we help
We support men aged 16 years and over, living in Nottingham city and 18 years and over living in Nottinghamshire county.
We work with all sexualities, ethnicities and cultural backgrounds and our support is provided by a dedicated team of qualified Independent Domestic Violence Advocates (IDVAs).
Abuse impacts our whole life
Domestic abuse can affect you, your children, family and friendships. It can also have an impact on your mental health, wellbeing, physical health, financial circumstances, access to resources, education and employment.
Is it abuse?
Not sure if you’re experiencing domestic abuse?
Read our guide
Warning signs
Learn to recognise the signs of domestic abuse
All the services listed on this site are LGBT+ inclusive
Talking about abuse can be hard
It’s normal to feel anxious about asking for help. At Equation, we know there are barriers to reaching out but we’re here to listen and support you.
We have a range of services to help reduce the risk of harm, ensure you are aware of your rights and options, ensure you feel heard and help you to feel safer, more confident and in control of your life.
Get in touch
- Call our helpline – 0800 995 6999 – Mon – Fri 9.30am – 4.30pm (7.30pm on Wednesdays) – 24/7 confidential answerphone available outside these times
- Email us – helpline@equation.org.uk – Mon – Fri 9.30am – 4.30pm
- Access support online using our online referral form including self-referrals.
Our domestic abuse services for men
Domestic Abuse Helpline Service
Our helpline is here for men, or those identifying as men who are experiencing domestic abuse. If you want to talk things through with someone, confidentially, our team are fully trained, compassionate and here to listen whenever you are ready.
Asking for help is difficult
We know asking for help can feel like a big step, but you can choose to share as much or as little as you like.
You’re in control
Helpline support is led by you, because you are best person to make decisions about your life. We want you to feel that you have options and that you’re not alone.
If you’re worried about someone else
You can also call us if you’re worried about someone else – a friend, family member, or someone you work with. If you’re unsure what to do, want to run your thoughts past someone, get some advice, or speak to someone who will hear your worries and take them seriously, then talk to us.
Get in touch
- Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
- We’re here Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4.30pm excluding bank holidays (7.30pm on Wednesdays) – 24/7 confidential answerphone available outside these times.
Domestic Abuse Advocacy and Support Service
Our Independent Domestic Abuse Advocates (IDVAs) are here for men, or those identifying as men, who’ve experienced domestic abuse and are looking for help and support. Whether you’re experiencing abuse now or navigating the aftermath, things can feel confusing, stressful and overwhelming. But you’re not alone – we’re here to listen. Our IDVAs understand what it’s like to live with controlling behaviours, physical abuse, stalking, honour-based abuse, forced marriage, or any other form of domestic abuse.
Supporting you the way you choose
We can work with you to help you set your own goals and achieve them. We’ll also create a safety plan to minimise further abuse and harm, by looking at risks and what to do if things reach crisis point. And throughout, we’ll advocate with you, or for you, and provide emotional and healing support as well as helping with
- Housing and safe accommodation
- Safety planning and risk management
- Understanding your children’s experiences and explore what support is available for them
- Navigating the civil and criminal justice system
- Accessing services like mental health, substance misuse, GPs
- Referring you for more therapeutic support when you’re ready.
Talking is the first step
We won’t pressure you or tell you what to do. We’ll simply listen, care and help you work out the next steps. We’ll be led by your needs and wishes and help you make informed decisions.
Get in touch
- Email us at helpline@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
- We’re here 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday and our helpline is open 9.30am to 4.30pm excluding bank holidays. A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times.
Pet fostering
For anyone escaping domestic abuse and leaving their home, there’s a lot to navigate.
If you have pets and are worried about what might happen to them if you leave – or if you stay, we can help find a temporary home for them.
Pets are placed with a volunteer foster carer who will look after them in their own home, until they can come back to you.
This is available for men living in Nottingham city, Ashfield, Broxtowe, Gedling and Rushcliffe.
Get in touch
- Call our helpline – 0800 995 6999 – Mon – Fri 9.30am – 4.30pm (7.30pm on Wednesdays) – 24/7 confidential answerphone available outside these times
- Email us – helpline@equation.org.uk – Mon – Fri 9.30am – 4.30pm
-
You can also complete our referral form. Giving these details will save time when we speak to you.
You don’t have to use your real name when you speak to us, or on the referral form.
Safer Accommodation and Outreach
Home is meant to be a place where you feel safe, comfortable and secure. Where you can be yourself without fear, stigma or abuse.
If you don’t feel safe where you live, physically or emotionally, because of a partner or family member, we’re here for you.
Our Safer Accommodation and Outreach team can help you create a safe space that you can call home. This looks different for everyone – you might want to make your current home feel safer, or you might need help finding somewhere else to live – either short or long term. Whichever option you need, we can help you.
We have a Men’s Specialist Practitioner who understands domestic abuse, housing needs and how the issues men face can be different to those faced by women.
We work alongside housing agencies in Nottingham city, to make sure that your that voice is heard and that your needs are taken seriously.
Get in touch
- Email us at safer-accommodation@equation.org.uk or call 0800 9956 999
- We’re here Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, excluding bank holidays. (A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times)
Stalking Advisory Service (Non-Domestic Abuse)
The Nottinghamshire Stalking Advocacy Service has specialist-trained advocates who provide high-quality support to victims of non-domestic abuse stalking. To use this service you must be 16 or above and live in Nottingham city or Nottinghamshire. Find out how we can help.
The Gateway programme - helping you move forward
After abuse has ended or once your safety improves, it can still be challenging to move forward. Feelings of disempowerment and confusion are often left behind impacting your long-term wellbeing. The Gateway Programme is a specialised eight-week peer support group designed for male and LGBTQ+ survivors of domestic abuse. Led by experienced domestic abuse advocates, it’s tailored to support lasting recovery.
Make a referral
I’m a frontline worker
Make a referral using this form.
Got any questions? Call us on 0115 960 5556. We’re here Monday to Friday, 9.30am – 4.30pm (7.30pm on Wednesdays) – 24/7 confidential answerphone available outside these times.
I’m looking for help for myself
You can call our helpline on 0800 9956 999 or email us at helpline@equation.org.uk.
You can also complete our referral form. Giving these details will save time when we speak to you.
You don’t have to use your real name when you speak to us, or on the referral form.
Help for an abusive partner
If your partner recognises that their behaviour is wrong, Equation offers support to help them change it. The Your Choice Project is a programme available to anyone aged 18 and over living in Nottingham city or the wider county.
Before talking to your partner about getting help, consider if approaching them will put you or your children at risk. If you think your partner might become angry when you talk to them, talk to us at Equation first.
Where else you can get help
Nottinghamshire Women’s Aid – our local Women’s Aid partners also offer services for men up until the age of 17 years and 11 months, living in Nottinghamshire county.
Helpline: 01909 533 610
National support
We know that sometimes it’s easier to speak to an organisation that isn’t local. It can feel safer, or less scary to talk to someone you may never meet in person.
- Respect UK – Equation is a member of Respect UK who are one of the leading organisations developing safe practices for working with male survivors, children, young people, and perpetrators of domestic abuse. They also run a helpline to support male survivors of domestic abuse.
Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327 - ManKind – offer signposting and helpline services for male survivors of domestic abuse.
Helpline: 01823 334 244
“I was able to take back control of my life having received support from Equation. I feel more independent and for once in a very long time I feel more in control. Talking to you gave me a safe space.”
“Made me aware that what was happening was reality and wasn’t me imagining it and that it happens to others and that it does have an impact.”
“Helped to realise that it’s more common to effect men than I first thought and that I wasn’t alone, that there isn’t something wrong with me and that it wasn’t my fault.”
I believe that all people deserve fair, equal relationships and that nobody should live with domestic violence. Equation do amazing work in our local area to move towards this as well as vital work supporting all survivors of domestic violence.
Domestic abuse is a big issue
- Each year nearly 2 million people in the UK suffer from domestic abuse, and approximately 600,000 are male survivors (ONS 2016).
- One in three survivors are male (ONS, 2020) and 6,557 male survivors were heard at MARAC due to high levels of risk posed to them by the perpetrator (SafeLives, 2021)
- 45.7% of male survivors of partner abuse suffered from force (ONS, 2018) but one in five men didn’t know where to seek help if they or someone they knew were in an abusive relationship (SafeLives, 2019)
- 41% of male survivors reported abuse from a partner impacting on their emotional and mental health needs, and 11% of male survivors of partner abuse have attempted to end their life due to their experiences (ONS, 2018)
- 85% of survivors sought help 5 times on average from professionals in the year before they got effective help to stop the abuse (SafeLives, 2015).
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