Warning signs
Domestic abuse isn’t always obvious, and it isn’t about someone “losing their temper.” It’s a pattern of control. This page will help you spot the signs – in your own relationship, or a friend’s – and help you understand when to get in touch with us.
Do these signs feel familiar?
We can all argue or upset each other sometimes. But if these patterns keep happening, it could be domestic abuse. These signs can help you understand what might be going on in your relationship.
Controlling behaviour
Your partner might control who you see, what you wear, or how you spend your time. Over time, this can chip away at your confidence and independence.
Emotional manipulation
Being put down, blamed for everything, or made to feel confused about what’s real are signs of emotional and psychological abuse.
Isolation
They might try to stop you seeing family or friends, or make it feel easier to stay in than go out. This can leave you feeling alone.
Threats or intimidation
Feeling afraid of your partner, being threatened, or having your things damaged on purpose are all warning signs of abuse.
How abuse can make you feel
Domestic abuse doesn’t just affect what happens to you — it affects how you feel, day to day. Recognising these feelings can help you understand what’s going on.
- Anxious or on edge, even at home.
- Confused about what’s real, or unsure if you’re overreacting.
- Afraid of your partner’s reactions.
What you can do next
You don’t have to make a decision today. These are some ways to start, whenever you feel ready.
- Talk to someone you trust, or contact us in confidence.
- Keep a record of what’s happening, if it feels safe to do so.
- Save the number for a helpline somewhere your partner can’t find it.
Frequently asked questions
We know reaching out can feel like a big step. Here are answers to some questions you might have.
Does it count as abuse if my partner has never hit me?
Yes. Domestic abuse doesn’t have to be physical. Controlling, threatening or frightening behaviour is abuse, even without violence.
My friend won’t admit anything is wrong. What can I do?
Let them know you’ve noticed something, and that you’re there for them. You don’t need to push — just keep the door open.
Can men and lgbtq+ people get support from Equation?
Yes. Our services are open to everyone, regardless of gender, sexuality or background.
I’m not sure if what’s happening to me is abuse. Should I still get in touch?
Yes. You don’t need to be certain before you reach out. We can help you talk it through, with no pressure to label anything.
Will you tell anyone I’ve been in contact with you?
Your conversation with us is confidential. We won’t share what you tell us without your permission, except in rare situations where someone’s safety is at serious risk.
Find support quickly
If you need to talk to someone right now, these national helplines are here for you, alongside our own support.
National Domestic Abuse Helpline
0808 2000 247National Stalking Helpline
0808 802 0300Men’s Advice Line
0808 8010 327
