Terminology in the domestic abuse and sexual violence sector
The domestic abuse and sexual violence sector uses a lot of specialist language. Some terms are used interchangeably — and some mean different things in different contexts. This page explains the words and phrases you might come across when reading about our work, accessing our services, or working alongside us.
1 in 4
Women
Will experience domestic abuse in their life timeSmall section area used to describe the stat section area
1 in 10
Children
Will be living with domestic abuse
16-19
Years old
Are most at risk of experiencing domestic abuse
2-3
Women
A week are killed by a partner or ex-partner
The language we use
The words we use shape how people understand domestic abuse — whether survivors feel seen, whether those causing harm are held accountable, and whether everyone feels welcome. Here we explain the language choices Equation makes and why.
Domestic abuse, not domestic violence
We say domestic abuse rather than domestic violence because abuse is rarely only physical. Coercive control, financial abuse, emotional harm, and isolation are all forms of domestic abuse.
Survivor
We use survivor rather than victim because it acknowledges strength and lived experience. Victim is still the right word in legal and criminal justice contexts.
Coercive control
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour used to take away someone’s freedom — through isolation, monitoring, financial restriction, threats, and degradation.
People who cause harm
We say person using abusive or harmful behaviour rather than “abuser.” This distinguishes the behaviour from the person and reflects our belief that behaviour can change.
Young people who cause harm
When working with under-18s, we say young person who causes harm rather than perpetrator. This reflects their developmental stage — their behaviour is not yet entrenched.
LGBTQ+ inclusion
Domestic abuse happens in LGBTQ+ relationships too — and LGBTQ+ survivors face specific barriers, including identity-based abuse and fear of not being believed. Equation’s services are open to everyone.
So-called ‘honour’-based violence
We always write so-called ‘honour’-based violence — never “honour crime” or “honour killing.” There is nothing honourable about this abuse.
Image-based sexual abuse
We say image-based sexual abuse, not “revenge porn.” The phrase revenge porn implies the survivor did something to deserve it. They didn’t.
Join us in making a difference
Want to begin or continue a career in preventing or supporting people around domestic abuse, please visit our careers page for more information.
Why language matters
Language shapes reality. When we describe abuse accurately, we make it easier for survivors to recognise what they’ve experienced, easier for professionals to respond, and harder for harm to hide behind euphemism. Equation chooses its words carefully — and we encourage everyone working in this space to do the same.
Ways you can support
Get involved with fundraising
However you like to raise money, your fundraising helps us reach more children with healthy relationships education, train more professionals to respond to domestic abuse, and support more people affected by it. Explore some of the ways you can get involved.
Volunteer with us
Volunteer with Equation and you’ll join a passionate team of people united against domestic abuse. From events and fundraising to campaigning and governance, there are lots of ways to get involved — whatever time, skills or experience you have to offer.
Host a community event
We run innovative, eye-catching campaigns across Nottinghamshire to raise awareness of domestic abuse and promote the services that can help. We also campaign for gender equality, a known root cause of domestic abuse and violence against women and girls. Here’s how you can get involved.
Frequently asked questions
If you still have questions around why we use different terminology and language please read our frequently asked questions below to find out more.
Why does it matter what words we use? Isn’t it just semantics?
Language shapes how people understand and respond to domestic abuse. When we call it “domestic violence,” we make it sound like physical harm is all that matters. When we call someone a “victim,” we risk removing their sense of agency. The words we choose can make it easier — or harder — for someone to recognise what’s happening to them and ask for help.
Why do you say survivor instead of victim? Some people feel the word victim fits their experience.
We say survivor as our default because it acknowledges strength and lived experience. But we never impose it. Some people feel that “victim” accurately reflects what happened to them, particularly in legal or criminal justice contexts — and that’s completely valid. What matters is that the person gets to choose the word that fits their own experience. We follow their lead.
Does Equation only work with men?
No. Domestic abuse and sexual violence can affect anyone — regardless of gender, sexuality, age, or background. Equation works with men, and LGBTQ+ people. Our language reflects that. We use gender-inclusive terms throughout our work, and all of our services are open to everyone who needs them.
I’ve always said “domestic violence.” Do I need to change?
We’d encourage it. Domestic abuse more accurately describes the full range of harm — including coercive control, financial abuse, and emotional harm, which can be just as serious as physical violence. That said, language shifts take time, and we’d rather start a conversation than shut one down. If you’re writing or communicating professionally, domestic abuse is now the standard across the sector and in law.
Isn’t avoiding the word “perpetrator” letting people off the hook?
No — we still use perpetrator where it’s appropriate, particularly in formal and statutory contexts. What we avoid is using “abuser” as a fixed identity label, because it suggests the person cannot change. Our work includes behaviour change programmes for people who cause harm. If we don’t believe change is possible, that work becomes pointless. Naming the behaviour, and holding the person accountable for it, are not in conflict.